Monday, April 17, 2006

Not all men are dogs!

It was a wonderful trip to Boise. I was treated like a priceless treasure, a princess to be pampered and wooed. We went shopping (for climbing gear), ate sushi, and climbed rocks. We walked to the sushi restaurant from our hotel. It was magical. I've been to Boise many times, even lived there for a while, but I'd never seen it like that before. I felt like a small town girl escaping to the big city!

The whole night was wonderful. I was completely swept off my feet. But I'm stupid sometimes. Sometimes it is better to just keep the big mouth shut. Especially when insecurity raises its ugly head. He's a kind and gentle man, and never sighed or rolled his eyes, but I know I gave him pause for thought. I suppose that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Yesterday I spent making Chicken Cordon Blue, Wild rice pilaf, roasted asparagus and apple dumplings for Easter dinner. My two children, my boyfriend, my dad and my neighbor were my guests. My neighbor and my son bagan discussing politics. She had my son going in no time and I couldn't get him to calm down. Dale left early. I felt so bad. That whole dinner was supposed to be about HIM, not her. I'm so mad at her that I will consider whether I should invite her again. That's sad. Unconditional Acceptance. Practice, practice, practice.

I haven't really messed anything up too bad, I guess. He is talking about how he will introduce me to his mother. I guess we'll see.


  1. Have you talked to him about it?
    I know my heavy sighs and eye-rolls are rarely appreciated, but, well, I pretty much wear my exasperation on my sleeve. You women are an especially tricky people! Confusing and circular and baffling to us men folk. Really. We're not making that stuff up. You really don't make sense to us.

    Still, if he's introducing you to his mother, I'd say it was nothing to worry about. More likely, he just didn't want to say anything that would upset you. It never hurts to talk about it. And, if it does... Well, that tells you something else more important, doesn't it?

  2. Yes, we did talk about it. We he tells me I'm too hard on myself, and I guess he could be right. I just feel like I need to be the best woman I can be for him, because I am so lucky to have found him. I am so used to disappointment and abandonment that I am looking for problems, I know that, I've expressed it to him. He loves me, and I know that, I need to learn to trust it.

  3. Yup, that pretty well sums it up. Glad he could see that and explain it to you. Now, all you need to do is internalize that... But, also, don't lose sight of the fact that he's pretty damn lucky to have found you, too, okay?