Working Memory Loss

What kind of amnesia would that be? That was supposed to be funny. My guess is, I missed the mark. I can't even remember where the mark is lately. A drop of perimenopausal hormones, combined with a good dose of reading bushels of research articles, mixed with a peck of living in a drug infested rat hole of an apartment building that fails to provide me with the internet connection I paid in advance for, a sprig of wishing I could actually set up house in my new house, a dash of dashing between homes and jobs, and a heap of missing my baby girl who is having a baby girl of her own are taking their tole. I hope that made sense. I tried to go back a re-read it, but I forgot what the beginning said long before I got to the end.


I've taken on the law. Well - not like a superhero or anything that anyone would make a move out of (maybe an episode of some drama series?). I remember working with at risk teens when I worked at the school district. I remember that they put on a tough face in front of their peers. I remember that if I gave them the time and respect, they would show me who they really were. I also remember colleagues who seemed unable to see anything but the tough facade. A thirteen year old girl who becomes pregnant is a victim of molestation in the eyes of the law. Just because she can't see it doesn't mean it isn't so. If she wants to keep her baby, people should be willing to help her make that happen, and not make problems with the law where none actually exist! I won't let them punish her for taking care of her baby, and I won't let them take her baby as long as she is doing such a good job taking care of it herself! I hope I can become a superhero for this girl. What is happening to her is just wrong. She really needs a break and some support from the community she lives in. Can I make them see?

A baby shower is in the works! This weekend My baby girl and her baby bump are coming to visit - now that she doesn't have to work at Pizza Hut anymore. We will be doing some shopping - she needs pants that actually fit her now! And we will be thinking about this baby bedding set that she wants. And decorations that match. Then, in a couple of weeks, I will be heading to Boise for the 3D ultrasound. Then, in March, I guess, there will be cake and presents and silly little games. It'll be fun! Then, you know what happens in May, don't you? BABY ARRIVES!

Zach told me to stop writing about him, so no Zach update. (Am I being a little snotty? Yes!)

One of my jobs as a grad student is to come up with a research project for my thesis. I have been working on that - it hasn't been easy - but I think I am making some progress. I have to chat with my advisor about it, and hopefully get things going. That means a lot more reading and a ton of writing. People will need to volunteer to be experimented on and math will have to be done (eventually). In the end, I can say I did it! But, until I can say I did it, I am not going to write about it here. You never know who might be reading. What if it is a really good idea and someone steals it from me! Ok - yeah - right. But eventually, I do hope to have something to report

The superbowl sucked. Actually the Viking game before the superbowl sucked. Peterson was awesome all year, then he gets the superbowl jitters and starts making mistakes again. He'll grow out of it, no doubt. Brett was surprisingly composed! The Saints were all about taking him out, and, except for the last pass, he managed to stay pretty mistake free. I kind of see this Brett thing as an analogy for me right now. I am a little old to be in grad school doing what I am doing. There are so many young and beautiful kids here and they have no problem out-performing me. But I am here. I am doing my best. But I don't really feel like I am fitting in so well. I didn't feel this way as an undergrad - so I don't know why it is bothering me now. But it would be really easy for these young folks to come in and take me out. Not that they will or anything - but I doubt they know or care how hard it is to be doing this at my age and at this junction in my life. I do plan to make it to the grad student superbowl, however.

It's 6:30 now. I have fallen behind in my sleep quota, and still have some research articles to read tonight, oh, yeah, and a paragraph to write about prenatal development. I can't even begin to tell you all how much fun my prenatal development and Physiological Psychology II classes are! I am starting to tire of the false nature vs nurture dichotomy - but I think that is the point these teachers are trying to make right now. I got an extra credit point for making a good point on my paper. Here is what got me the point:

Do these articles really show that DNA is not responsible for [environmental] variability? According to Ryan and Vandenberg (2003), "IUP [intra-uterine placement] accounts for a large amount of variability that is not genetic in origin" (p. 674). It is possible, however, that the genome is designed in such a way that environment must play a part in the development of the organism. The genome may be an "if - then" mechanism that requires input from the fetal environment to do its job. With this type of mechanism, some genes are turned on and off in response to environmental factors. This epigenetic code might be passed on to future generations; however, it would seem more likely that each generation would develop its own epigenetic expressions in order to survive in their environment. Does the epigenetic expression of characteristics override the genome, or is the genome programmed for environmentally guided epigenetic expression of characteristics? The growing body of evidence is showing that all life on this planet, and the environment it shares, plays a significant role in the expression of adaptive characteristics. Perhaps genes are not necessarily goal directed for reproduction, but instructions that allow organisms and species to adapt in an ever changing environment.

I was tired when I wrote that the first time. I am even more tired now. I really hope it makes as much sense as I intended. Well, it got and extra point!