Monday, November 21, 2005

Monday, Monday

I am as caught up at work as I can possibly be. It was nice to kinda just float today. Then I was challenged. I don't know if my challengers intended to be as harsh as they were, but they're just kids, and there is nothing wrong with having a new thought challenged.

It all came full circle though, and the moral to the story is that I am more free to live my life now than I have ever been. I know this isn't coming from a bad mom place. I gave up the last 20 years to make sure the two people I was entrusted with learned how to think for themselves. I think I did a good job, and I know I love them both. I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when I see them succeed on their own. Now it is my turn to become all I aspire to.

I just don't know what to think of those Green Bay Packers this year. This game tonight is ridiculous. Las Vegas would almost be more interesting.

Well, I have read the letter to my mom a couple of times. I guess it is still just a work in progress. It really does sound quite angry. Funny thing is, the only time I feel that anger is when I think of the things she did to me. I really am not angry with her. At least I'm trying really hard not to be. I do feel a great deal of compassion for her. When I think about what she has been through, it is hard to think of her as the monster the child in me sees. Obviously, I haven't worked through it all yet. That is exactly why I can't have her in my life. I hope someday we both understand.

And so begins Thanksgiving week.


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