Wednesday, March 22, 2006


I gave a great deal of consideration as to whether I should post this. I'm not sure I know exactly what it says about me, but I can't concern myself with what other people think. Maybe I'm afraid of a Godly reprimand. Maybe I'm afraid is not a good reason to not post this, though. After all, I have made a conscious decision to not base any more of my choices on fear.

So, here it is.

I love that you called me every day this week. Well, except for Wednesday because I called you first. I am so thrilled that you think about me so much, because I can’t stop thinking about you.

It sounds so ridiculous, but I have done everything that seems to have jinxed every past romance. I told all the girls at work, told you I liked you right away, I even bought new underwear. You still call. You still want me. It still feels right.

So Friday night finally came. I met you at Johnny Carino’s in my new outfit. I showed you my pictures of vacation spots and of my art. You were impressed. Cool.

We didn’t smooch much, not because I didn’t want to. I can show some patience, see? Then you took me home. To your home.

You gave me the tour of your house, and said you hoped I would live there with you someday. The tour ended in your bedroom. Ok, so this might be too fast, but what can I say. I don’t want to play games, and the honest truth is, I want this.

It was so wonderful to have a man touch me the way you touched me. Always lovingly, always gently, always warmly. You didn’t move too fast, I never felt rushed. Nothing happened until I was ready for it.
I always thought it was just a cliché, the way women gushed about feeling like they were one with their lover. I’d never felt it before, I thought they were making way too much out of nothing. I thought that until that wonderful night I spent with you. I really did wonder where I ended and you began.

You went on your long planned climbing vacation the next morning. You still call me when you have a signal. It’s a lot more work that a guy playing a girl would go to. I hid my match profile. It took me a little longer than it took you. I believe you really want this. I don’t think you are lying. So I will wait for you to get home Friday. I will give this new romance every chance to work. I am looking toward the future with hope.

I am really looking forward to really getting to know you. I want to learn to climb. I will learn more about you while you teach me than you would guess. It’s nice to know we’ll get there. I love that you want to be my boyfriend, and I am happy to be your girlfriend.

And I will take comfort in knowing that nothing has happened too fast, or not fast enough. It has and will happen just exactly how it should. I’m amazed. I asked for you, and there you are. That is the last jinxer you know - saying you are heaven sent! But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true, either.


  1. I'm so glad you seem to have found someone that you're clicking with. I hope it works out well for the longer term for you. Mainly, because if you can make it happen, then it can happen in my life, too!
    I hope you two have many exciting adventures together!

  2. Of course it can (and will) happen in your life, silly! Even if this does't work out for me, there is still hope. The first step, I think, is knowing exactly what it is you want for your life. When you know what you want, you know what to look for.

    There are a lot of women out there just hoping to meet you! Don't give up.

  3. There are? Where are you hiding them!? ;)
    Honestly, sometimes, I think this is some sort of cosmic revenge for all the guys I've scuttled over the years, just for sport. Ah, well, all it takes is time and patience, I'm told. We'll see!

  4. Time, patience and FAITH! Seeing is believing takes time and patience, believing is seeing only takes faith.

    p.s. They aren't hiding, they are waiting for you to decide what you want.