Sunday, September 03, 2006

100th Post!

Wow! I can't believe I have actually made 100 posts already. It has almost been a year, and I have spent the day reading my 100 posts and changing the look of my blog. A bit of a theme emerged in my reading. There must be 5-6 posts where I give a great deal of lip service to actually getting out there and living my life! I still haven't got to that place yet.

I posted a blog where I complained my job was no longer fulfilling me and that I was cruely pushing this anger onto and innocent. It turns out, she is not the innocent. In fact, not only is she not an innocent, she is actually quite abusive, not just to me but to many. Just another insight I gained from my break-up with Dale.

I have managed to cast off minutia this year, and while that has left more time to live, I have yet to decide how that should be done. I wrote about what not to do during this time, yet I almost got myself stuck in a relationship that would have imprisoned me anyway. So I started the work in the Self Matters book that has been laying around for a while. I hope to have the courage soon to get out there and live my life.

I have posted my art, an addition I am really excited about. It's all starting to get archived now, though, so I am posting it here so It wont get lost. My Eye is one that shows up on my profile, but I dedided to include it here anyway. It is one of my most favorite of my drawings. I posted my two oil paintings; Summer Eagles, and Oil Grapes. I have several charcoals I liked; My Alien?, Bouquet, The Wolf, Charcoal Shells, My Hand, and Pumpkin. I even have some pastels to share; Fallen Vessel, and Pastel Shells. Then I took some pictures this summer that I am fond of; Sunrise at Castle Rock, Pine Buds, Pretty Evergreen, The Ent, Pretty Flowers, Pretty Purple Pine Buds on Cache Peak, and Cache Peak.

I usually think that a lot of my journaling posts are generally dull, but there are some posts that are more prose. My favorites are: Hide-and-Seek, a composition about finding meaning in myself; January, the coldest and most difficult month of the year for me; Depression, a familiar place for me; and, Grief, the ache of breaking up with "the one".

Not everything in my blog is that depressing. I do have some fun! Cosmic Fan was a post I wrote when I was very happy. I had so much fun writing it, and I think that comes through to the reader. I was suprised to see I only had five soap box pieces Autism: Does treatment change the individual? Knotts Berry Funk Politically Correct Synchronicity The Bachelor. Usually I am more opinionated than that, at least that's what I'm told! My history is out there for everyone to see now. Self matters writing exposes me nearly completely! And there's more to come with that too! Oh yipee, I can hardly wait!

It has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. This blog's one year anniversary is comming up, so I will be writing a list of goals and guidelines that I do intend to heed during the next year. I suppose in the end, it's all good.


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