Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Zach sitting with his class at the ceremony Posted by Picasa

The graduate and his sister (in the background) Posted by Picasa

The proud graduate Posted by Picasa

Thursday, May 25, 2006


Here I am! Were you beginning to think I was just a rumor? The last couple of months have been an incredible whirlwind! I have been so busy developing this new part of me that I have neglected much of the rest of me. School’s out now and I hope to use that extra time to find some balance.

Like in Yoga.

My baby is graduating tonight. During practice yesterday I kept flashing back to touching his incredibly soft baby hair and skin, the way he smelled and how much I loved to rock him. I kept thinking about the wooden block he had to hold in order to walk. I remember him running and running in circles at grandma’s house wondering how many miles he must have gone.

He’s not a baby any more! No one has worked harder for anything than he has for this night. I am so proud of him. I will definitely post pictures of the big event as soon as I possibly can.

Things with Dale are still going strong. We have already had a couple of bobbles, but we worked them out and I didn’t get dumped! I am finally seeing me as others have seen me. I am really a lot of work. I get upset about something and clam up. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? He does the same thing! We are really a lot alike.

We are both in our 40’s and used to doing things our way. Set it those ways to the point that we are surprised that anyone should even consider any alternatives. There sure is a lot of room for compromise there!

Then to top it all off, I have gone off my anti-depressants (Dr. guided - don’t worry). I have been riding a roller coaster of emotions over the past several weeks, but I think I am beginning to level out now. And - uh - I guess the anti depressants do cause sexual side effects for me. Yep, now I’m back to being me again. Can I handle it? Can anyone else? Time will tell.

I am glad to get time off from work. The past couple of months in that arena have been horrible. The teacher I work for was not terrible supportive of my new relationship. I think she is one of those people who only liked me as long as I was as miserable as she is. But I’m not now, and am starting to truly resent being victimized by her co-dependency. Unconditional acceptance is a goal, I’m not there yet. Even if I were, I know I would have to make changes for me. I’m just not ok with having anyone expect so much more from me than anyone else. I get paid the same as all the other paras and I deserve to be treated with at least as much courtesy - especially from her.

Is that the Wambulance I hear?

My art is coming back. I am teaching myself to draw/paint birds of prey. I am going to paint them on Dale’s new tipi. It is so cool, see?

Well, my new life is calling my name. I will write more often.