Happy Anniversary Dear Universe - 5 years and counting!

Wow!  Five years I have been charting me in this blog.  I don't have any other diaries that are as well kept as this blog.  Sad, because of late I have not been keeping up with this blog.  It has been two months since I last posted.

The grad school thing didn't work out.  I managed to flunk a statistics class - I still don't know how, it was strange - and that meant losing my assistance ship, so no money to finish.  It didn't matter really, the research project I wanted to do so bad blew up in my face this summer.  When I was researching possible avenues of research, I read a Kane and Engle paper that actually IS what I wanted to do.  The thing is, when I was reading it in the beginning, I really didn't understand what it was about.  It wasn't until the hypothesis was suggested and I researched it through other avenues that I came to understand the paradigm.  I had my proposal all but completed and thought out and was going back through papers to make sure I included all relevant information.  It was then that I looked again at the paper and realized that it was the study I wanted to do.  Maybe if I were young and had lots of time to get through grad school, I could have picked myself up by the bootstraps and made may way through, but I'm old and I really needed to have something going by the time school started this semester.  It sucked.  Such is life.

Then, all summer I had to muck through with only 12 hours a week of work.  It's hard to have any money that way, but all that free time was cool.  I did get to go to Boise more often then.  All of a sudden when school started, my case load tripled.  Now I am working nearly 40 hours a week, driving 8 hours a week and writing progress notes another 3 hours a week.  It is fun work, sometimes very frustrating and exhausting, but I can see myself doing this for a long time.  It is different now than it was last summer.  I work with people who want a better life.  Imagine that!

The last time I made a post about my blog was on the 100th post.  I still like the same things that I liked then, and a few more!

Family

Probably the most amazing and wonderful thing to happen this year is Ellie!  She is perfection in a very small package.  Megan all over again!  I haven't done the best job posting pictures of her here on this blog, but I have been posting them on my facebook photos and there are plenty of cute ones here, here, here, here, and here.  The baby keeps growing, and I try to go see her at least once a month, but sometimes nasty life can get in the way.  I'd be there to see her every day if I could.  She is starting to coo now, and when I heard her on the phone last week I thought she sounded exactly like her mom! 

Ellie is very amazing - but another amazing thing happened on the family front this year.  I was found by my Adopted Dad's family!  It has been a wonderful experience to say the least.  They are free to love me the way they want without interference from my mother.  The sibling thing is still weird.  My sister is not dating/living with Dale anymore, but instead has taken up with some other guy that she really doesn't know.  I had my brother Jay in my life for a minute - he made me a beautiful piece of art to put on my wall, and now will be gone again for a long time.  My other brother - well - I guess I'm just a huge disappointment to him.  I guess.  He never came to see Ellie when she was here - any of the times - and he pretty much pretends not to see me when I know he does.  Oh well.

Art

I haven't don't a whole lot with art lately.  I have my camera and have been taking pictures, of Ellie, of course, but not of anything too artsy.  A whole summer blown.  Maybe I'll find time soon.  I have been working on my grapes painting (still) and it will end up just being a study because I have really messed things up.  But I did learn how to make my grapes look translucent.  I'll show you when I have time to paint one that can be hung! Instead of posting my favorites individually, I am choosing to point you to art label.  There are a few pages to scroll through, but some of my favorite pictures are there and all of my best drawings and paintings (and some that aren't so good) are there. My job has been keeping me as busy as school did.  What is up with that?

Prose
I haven't written any real prose in a long time.  I wrote on my facebook status a few lines once. 

I’d like to dance with the wind, shout with the thunder, strike like the lightening, and cry with the rain.
I’d like to know why the answer is no, then yes, then no again.
It cannot be sane to cry in pain, and live in vain.
I’d like to dance with the wind, shout with the thunder, strike like the lightening, and cry with the rain.

It isn't really that great.  I've done better.  My Favorite is Hide and Seek.  When I read posts like January, I remember how depressed I used to get every Winter.  I haven't done that in years!  I have changed my thought patterns!  It really is that easy - and that hard!  It can be done, however.  Every time I find myself thinking the thoughts that typically lead to depression, I stop them with thought stoppers, and refocus on positive thoughts.  It is a lot of work at first.  It is constant and unrelenting.  Eventually new thought patterns strengthen (new neural pathways become weighted) and the old weaken.  I really do feel like a different person now!  Unfortunately, I don't have the pain to write prose about anymore, and everyone knows all good prose comes from pain! ;)  I'm sure that isn't true - but I don't spend nearly as much time  contemplating such things now.

Spirituality
I haven't posted any more on my Acquisition label, not because I haven't explored more of where I have come, but because when I continue to write about it, I need to take the time to write it well.  I am quite proud of these posts.  I was definitely inspired when I wrote them.  In the future I plan to write about how not living my life trying to figure out what my "purpose" is has led to a freedom that has definitely aided in my freedom from depression.  Before, I looked for signs to help guide me to where I hoped some greater entity was steering me to, now I guide myself.  If I start down one path and come to find it is a dead end, there is no emotional angst, just a prompt to move on to something else.  I'm not lost any more, because I make my own way - I blaze my own trails.  That way I am happy to take responsibility for all of the consequences, good and bad.


I've been letting facebook chart my life lately.  That doesn't really work, however, because facebook doesn't allow specific searches, and going back for a few months is a serious pain in the neck.  What that means is that I might actually have to post what I have written on facebook here too.  Even if it is just a couple of lines.  At least that way there is a record of my life.  A place to write about my life and remember it, because the brain just isn't a very good place to keep track.

Scrutator: Picture this

You'll have to picture this yourself this week, because I have not included any pictures for this post. It looks rather boring, but the content is...well...lively. I've decided that between Facebook and mymsn page, this is going pretty well so far. Let me say that I don't include EVERYTHING I find interesting. I am showing some restraint - believe it or not. So, here is this weeks picture less scrutator:

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Wolves are not responsible for declining elk populations in Idaho since their reintroduction according to a study.  The article has a quote that isn't entirely accurate, however.  “No predator has ever eliminated its food,” Creel said. “Change is always the most dramatic at the beginning, then population numbers settle.”  I would have to say that the human predator is responsible for eliminating many natural food sources.  Well, maybe that's a stretch - we can make our own food, so what he is saying is that wolves will not kill themselves out of future dinners.  I will be keeping track of the comments section here.  Of course, there is already a comment from a wolf-hater who believes that wolves are killing off all of the elk.  Dude, just because you can't find an elk to shoot when you're hunting doesn't mean they are all gone.  It just means you might actually have to get out of your pick-up truck and HUNT instead of playing target practice with elk standing in the middle of an open field!

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Orangutans are more efficient than humans.  Scientists have studied these apes and have found that they consume less food pound for pound than humans while still enjoying a very active lifestyle.  The probable cause for this difference is that they have a very slow resting metabolic rate that has evolved in response to a constantly changing food source and availability.  The article doesn't say exactly how much more efficient the orangutans are than humans, nor have they studied the possible differences in human lineages.  It would be interesting to know if a person's ancestry plays a role in resting metabolic rate.  I for one am certain I have a lower metabolic rate that average.  If I eat 1500 calories a day, I will be fat.  If I want to lose weight, I have to restrict to under 1000 calories a day.  This is anecdotal evidence to be sure, and has not bearing on true scientific knowledge, but scientific studies have to start somewhere.  This study on orangutans and the possibility that humans face weight problems that could be tied to lineage are great places to begin a new study.  I won't be doing that study, though I'm sure I'll be reading it someday!

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Here's a good short story with no real meat - or nose. A Boise man is arrested for felony mayhem. He bit off the nose of his room mate. Officers couldn't find the nose, so it probably won't get sewn back on. It seems in really poor taste to make the pun here - you know - he won't be poking his nose where it doesn't belong anymore. Yes, very poor taste.

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In Idaho, medicaid payments are not all being paid.  Health and Welfare has switched computer services.  Molina was the low bidder.  Why did the government chose to make the switch without a good test of the system or a plan B?  Could this be more design than malfunction?  Imagine how much money the State is making off of the payments they are supposed to be making to providers as the money sits in banks for moths.  Some providers are going out of business.  Care is suffering.  Already, the candidate running against the incumbent governor has jumped all over this.  He is speaking with providers to pin-point the problems and taking suggestions as to how to fix them.  So far, I am really lucky to work someplace that has enough money so far to make payroll.  That could change, of course.  I guess that's what happens when private sector businesses mess with government.

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Here is capitalism at work in the pharmaceutical field.  The big pharma companies are pulling out of research for medications that treat psychiatric disorders - not because they have developed highly effective medicines with minimal side effects - but because they won't make enough money for them.  I am linking to a psych blogger on this because the original article requires a subscription, which I cannot afford.  This is highly disturbing (the new - not the subscription - although I think news should be fee free), and evidence that healthcare will never be safe in the hands of capitalism.  This is the very definition of rationed health care, isn't it?  Only those who can pay get the best treatment.

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This Wednesday is just packed with good news!  My clients were ok - just lost texting on their phone - I am getting new clients and will soon be making good money again, and a judge just overturned the California gay marriage ban!  Don't worry, it isn't the end of the family.  The family is an ever-changing entity that conforms to the needs of the society that forms them.  Children still need parents/guardians/teachers, and adults still need networks of people that they can count on.  Family will never die - hopefully bigotry will.

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And there it is. Now I can turn in my progress notes and head out for a fun weekend trip! It may be my last for a while, because I might actually really start working again. I know I can do it, I just have to get up off my...well...you know.

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Scrutator: It's back!

October of 2008 was the last time I put together a scruator post. My life got really busy and I just didn't have time to keep it up. Today, I pull out the old Scrutator publisher and breath a little life back into something I once had a lot of fun with and was kind of proud of.  For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a compilation of news articles that I have read during the week that caught my attention and drew my commentary.  I have no idea if I am really going to be able to do this weekly, but I do hope to bring this back into my life.

California is getting serious about legalizing marijuana.  Apparently, they are pulling out all of the stops.  A company wants to grow and sell marijuana on a very large scale basis.  The cities want to tax the sales to replace some of the revenues they have lost under poor leadership.  Replacing tax revenue isn't their only argument for legalizing the substance.  Other arguments include breaking the Mexican drug cartel and reducing the number of illegal immigrants that come here with pot.  They also argue the ending this prohibition will give society the ability to address addiction problems that people face because the problem with legal punishment will no longer be relevant, which also means that the prisons won't be filled up with people who were busted for possession.  One group doesn't plan to stop at marijuana, however.  They intend to push until all prohibitions are eliminated!

One can see how legalizing marijuana would carry a lot of positives.  I wonder how the feds would deal with this.  I doubt it will go quite like they plan, but it might be interesting.  I keep telling people who smoke pot because they don't think it should be illegal that their philosophical outlook will not save them from punishment, and that if they are serious about it, they should do something to legalize it.  If you don't like the law change it - don't break it!  Here are some people blazing a trail for you.  Will you help them?

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Scientists have developed the technology that can help to diagnose autism at an earlier age.  This is great news because the one thing we know for sure is that the earlier you start treating the symptoms, the better chance the child will have at an independent life.  Of course, good news must be tempered by a bad comment.  Joyce Schulte is sad to learn that there is another autistic boy in the world and that autism should be prevented.  A lot of things should be prevented, like flotsam spewing forth from the mouths of hateful, obtuse people.  She doesn't say she is the parent of an autistic child, and I hope she isn't, I certainly wouldn't want to be that poor hated child. 

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HealthCare.gov is a new web site that explains how health care will change and what you can expect when (if) the changes are made in 2014.

When health care reform was being created, I was really hoping for a public option. I really think health care needs to change, because too many people, including myself, can't afford insurance premiums. It never fails that I have no money to see a doctor when I get sick, however, I never have health care bills that even compare to what insurance premiums are. The last time I had insurance was when I worked at the school district and they paid the premiums. My premiums were more than $300 per month, and the last year I had the insurance, my health care bill for the entire year was only about $30 or $40 more than a one month premium. That bill, by the way, was for routine preventative care, not illness. The last time I got sick, the doctor visit was $70 and lab costs were about that. It was for a stupid UTI!

The media likes to remind us as often as possible that polls show Americans are not happy with health care reform. I would like to point out that those numbers are high not because of what the republicans say - that it will be too expensive for our country - but instead isn't popular because it didn't include the public option. Now I will be forced to give money to insurance companies who will charge far more than what my health care bill will ever be. A public option would have been the only way to ensure that staying healthy is a great way to not have high health care bills. I would actually much rather see all health care run by the government.

I think the argument that doctors and services would be worse if we had socialized medicine. I have worked at jobs where there were lots of people riding the coat-tails of those who work, and I really don't think things would be that different if someone was making sure that everyone got a fair shake. I also have worked in places where pay wasn't based on job performance. There were still people who rode the coat-tails of those who worked. Even more amazingly, there were people who worked hard to get things done because they were dedicated to what they were doing. Most of the jobs I've had don't pay a living wage, and yet, when I went to work I worked hard to make a difference. That's what people need more of. Capitalism doesn't give people that drive any more than socialism takes it away. It either exists in a person or it doesn't. My guess is that if everyone made enough to live on no matter the job, more jobs would be filled by people who actually want to be there - but that's just me. A person who goes to work because of a paycheck is not the person I want taking care of my health, or my education, or my city streets, or anything else! I also do believe that ALL people have a right to health care. Aren't Americans supposed to have the right to LIFE, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? It is hard to have LIFE if you get sick and die, isn't it? I really hope this reform works. I hope it changes the way health insurers operate. I won't hold my breath - and not just because I don't have the health insurance that would be necessary to cover the disability care I would have to have because of the brain damaged caused by oxygen deprivation.

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Jennifer Keeton
Picture taken fromFox News at link
 provided in text

Two separate cases regarding students in counseling programs have hit the news.  Jennifer Keeton is suing Augusta State University because they have demanded she complete a remediation plan because she has expressed her beliefs regarding sexual orientation.  She believes, as do many religious people, that homosexuality is a lifestyle that should be stopped.  She wants to be a school counselor.  I wonder how many young people who are confused about their sexuality would end up being terribly hurt by her proselityzations? 

Julea Ward
Picture taken from Fox New at
link provided in text

The other case is extremely similar, but here Julea Ward was expelled because she refused to counsel homosexuals.  Once again, she feels that homosexuality is morally wrong. 

Fox news, of course, is upset because they see these cases as dangerous presidents being set that will allow christian students all over America to be expelled because of their beliefs.  I think it's easy.  If you want to be a religious counselor, go to a bible college.  If you want to get real counseling credentials from Universities, learn about the diversity in humanity and accept that you will have a significant number of clients who have beliefs that are not congruent with your own.  If you can't do that, you really shouldn't be a counselor, which I believe is what these universities were trying to say, and what the courts agreed with.

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The Arizona immigration law has been stopped for now. U.S. District Judge Susan Bolton decided that there were portions of the law that trump state law. She feels that the government has a very strong case in many parts of the law, including requiring people to show papers, which will very likely create problems for American citizens of Mexican ancestry. Fox News of course, has a slightly different slant on the issue.  Sen. John McCain complains that it is disappointing that the power to control the border is given to the federal government, but the federal government won't do anything to address the problem.  They just aren't doing what they need to do to protect us.  Wait a minute!  Isn't John McCain a senator?  Doesn't that make him part of the federal government?  Doesn't that make him one of them?

Now that we are embroiled in a recession people are pointing their nasty little fingers of blame. Remember, the recession was caused by rich American white men. i can't figure out why they are getting a free pass. The American president is trying to pass legislation that would regulate these companies so that they can't cause such devastation to us poor people, but can't because us poor people apparently would rather blame the hard working Mexican farm workers. If we want to get rid of the drug smugglers, it can happen. Just refer above to the end of all prohibition.  An maybe, for once, someone should please figure out that WE are the government.  We NEED a strong government that can protect US against the greedy business practices of our big corporate bosses that refuse to pay their laborers enough to live on.  When that happens, we'll be glad once again to have so many kind Mexicans willing to come here and do our grunt work again - for a pittance.

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And there it is! My soapbox interpretation of some of the news that caught my attention this week. I don't know if you agree, if not, I hope we can agree to disagree! And I will start to work on next weeks edition of Scrutator.

Jay's art

My brother gave me something to hang on my wall.  I think it is absolutely beautiful!  It changes all day long - depending on how the light hits it.  He says he sells them for about $20.  They are definitely worth it!

Auger Falls burned this week. I almost missed it completely.  I was watching tv, and it was not interesting enough to keep me awake.  Thanks Dr. Phil.  So I drove along both sides of the canyon to see if it was possible to get close enough to the edge of the canyon to take good photos.  It wasn't.  Sad thing was, the best vantage point was the easiest to get to - the Perrine Bridge.

 I can't help but feel it is a direct result of our city leaders needing to turn everything into a tamed back-yard type park.  It was started by a cigarette butt.  That figures, doesn't it?  Smokers will all say that they don't exhibit the kind of behaviors that lead to such things as thousand-acre wildfires, so who is responsible for all the cigarette butts littered everywhere?  Some still smoldering.  Some homes were threatened, but you know, if you have to build your house right next to the canyon rim there are risks you just have to assume.  I  know I sound snotty about this.  I'm glad Auger Falls was set aside for a park and not sold off to housing contractors to build at will and sell to the elite.

It is a mess isn't it?


So after figuring out that the best vantage point for photographing the fire was actually from the bridge, I decided to walk along the trail on the rim to follow the trail next to the river. I ended up at a lookout where vultures were flying. I think these birds get a bad rap. They might not look tough like an eagle, but they are interesting and valuable none-the-less. When they are riding the thermals they are just as graceful and look just as free. And it only takes them seconds the span the width of the canyon, which is more than a quarter of a mile. While they were close, I decided to take pictures - practice for when I make it to the old jump site to photograph the red tailed hawk that lives there. I definitely need more practice ;).

I've got sunshine, on a floody day

I got to spend the better part of a week getting to know my granddaughter last week - and, as I'm sure you can imagine, I had a blast.  When she was first born I stayed a few days, but since Megan and Steven were trying to get to know her to, it seemed a little awkward.  I felt more like I was in the way then, but this time I felt needed.  I got to babysit on Friday night while mom and dad had a date night.  So what does any good grandmother do with her granddaughter?  We played dress-up!  Unfortunately, Ellie is still a little young to really get into dress-up, so we only did it for a few minutes and I let her get into her pjs.  She then laid in my lap eating her formula (drinking her formula?) and watched the sunset cast beautiful golden and peach hues on the clouds that were framed by a perfect blue sky.  She loves sunsets, I have figured out.  When I took the pictures posted of her in the last post she was looking at a beautiful sunset too.  Maybe she'll be an artist!  But all good things must end, and I came home Saturday night (I actually didn't arrive until 1:30 am on Sunday morning).

On the way home from the family reunion I thought I was going blind.  My contacts were a mess from the wind blowing them dry all day, and I had forgotten to bring re-wetting fluid.  So, I naturally thought my inability to see very well was a result of those factors.  But, it turns out one of my headlights was out.  I had just gotten it fixed not that long ago too.  You know, the first thing to go is the headlights! ;)  So on my way home tonight I got pulled over by a policeman.  He seemed amused as I shuffled through six years worth of insurance slips, and a few years worth of registrations before finding the current ones.  I wasn't even sure if the insurance one was right because I forgot what the date was.  My cognitive resources had been completely tapped by the fact that a police officer had pulled me over for not being in compliance with a law (two headlights are mandatory in cars), and I became a bumbling fool.  He checked out my license and registration to make sure he didn't have cause to make his own little "Cops" episode, then sent me on my way.  So for the second time today I had a highly stressful incident to recover from.

What was the first incident you ask?  (hopefully you asked).  Today, just before I was going to work, I stopped by the old house where Zach and his friend were cutting all the grass with gas powered grass trimmers.  They were sitting out front having completed the task and I was talking to them when I saw water spraying out of the water tap.  Now the water was turned off almost a year ago, and I didn't call the city to have it turned back on.  So I asked, what's up with that?  It turns out that the guy who bought my neighbor's house (stole it really - he paid her less than what the lot is worth) had gone to the street and turned the water on so he could water his lawn - a totally illegal act that anyone who gets a city water bill should know about because it's printed right on the bill.  Then Zach went into the house and came out saying "mom, we have a really bad problem!"  One of the pipes in my bathroom had broken, and water was spraying everywhere.  I don't know for sure how long the water had been on, and I am afraid to go into the basement to look at the damage.I was furious. 

This morning when I dropped the boys off I spoke with this man (Ray Perron) because he had gated my ditch and the water was threatening to flood my basement then.  I told him where the ditch outlet for his property was and he seemed ok with everything.  So why he thought it would be ok to ask my son and his friend for permission to break the law and steal my water is beyond me.  When I called him he acted all innocent like he wasn't doing anything wrong.  The city guy had come out and was upset and said I should press charges.  And I might yet.  My question to this guy is if he didn't think it was a problem to turn the water on at the city meter to my house, why didn't he turn it on at his house?  This is a serious question, and brings his intentions and true guilt to the forefront, don't you think?  And, why did he think my son and his friend had any authority to give permission to turn the city water on to my house?  Did it not occur to him that he might need MY permission as the owner of the house?  Does this fact not also bring his credibility into question?  I actually yelled and said bad words to him over the phone.  And, I lost an hour of work because of it to.  I do not like my new neighbor.  And he is a landlord (slumlord?) so he will likely not make sure only good upstanding people move in the way he acted today.  We had just got the worst of the worst out too!  We haven't had a drive by in years!

ok, but I'm home now, and safe.  I just need to calm down and sleep.

The good news is, I'm not going blind.  The bad news is I'm not feeling sleepy.  Can't win them all.

Big Brother in Texas

I don't really understand how one state can set the standards for textbooks for all of the United States, but here it is! Revised history at work, just like in 1984. Some one else commented that reality is liberal (source amnesia). It may be the only way conservatives have to make sure they continue to enjoy power through the future - by controlling the minds of the future via revisions of history. I am starting to think there really is no hope for this country - or humanity.

Working Memory Loss

What kind of amnesia would that be? That was supposed to be funny. My guess is, I missed the mark. I can't even remember where the mark is lately. A drop of perimenopausal hormones, combined with a good dose of reading bushels of research articles, mixed with a peck of living in a drug infested rat hole of an apartment building that fails to provide me with the internet connection I paid in advance for, a sprig of wishing I could actually set up house in my new house, a dash of dashing between homes and jobs, and a heap of missing my baby girl who is having a baby girl of her own are taking their tole. I hope that made sense. I tried to go back a re-read it, but I forgot what the beginning said long before I got to the end.


I've taken on the law. Well - not like a superhero or anything that anyone would make a move out of (maybe an episode of some drama series?). I remember working with at risk teens when I worked at the school district. I remember that they put on a tough face in front of their peers. I remember that if I gave them the time and respect, they would show me who they really were. I also remember colleagues who seemed unable to see anything but the tough facade. A thirteen year old girl who becomes pregnant is a victim of molestation in the eyes of the law. Just because she can't see it doesn't mean it isn't so. If she wants to keep her baby, people should be willing to help her make that happen, and not make problems with the law where none actually exist! I won't let them punish her for taking care of her baby, and I won't let them take her baby as long as she is doing such a good job taking care of it herself! I hope I can become a superhero for this girl. What is happening to her is just wrong. She really needs a break and some support from the community she lives in. Can I make them see?

A baby shower is in the works! This weekend My baby girl and her baby bump are coming to visit - now that she doesn't have to work at Pizza Hut anymore. We will be doing some shopping - she needs pants that actually fit her now! And we will be thinking about this baby bedding set that she wants. And decorations that match. Then, in a couple of weeks, I will be heading to Boise for the 3D ultrasound. Then, in March, I guess, there will be cake and presents and silly little games. It'll be fun! Then, you know what happens in May, don't you? BABY ARRIVES!

Zach told me to stop writing about him, so no Zach update. (Am I being a little snotty? Yes!)

One of my jobs as a grad student is to come up with a research project for my thesis. I have been working on that - it hasn't been easy - but I think I am making some progress. I have to chat with my advisor about it, and hopefully get things going. That means a lot more reading and a ton of writing. People will need to volunteer to be experimented on and math will have to be done (eventually). In the end, I can say I did it! But, until I can say I did it, I am not going to write about it here. You never know who might be reading. What if it is a really good idea and someone steals it from me! Ok - yeah - right. But eventually, I do hope to have something to report

The superbowl sucked. Actually the Viking game before the superbowl sucked. Peterson was awesome all year, then he gets the superbowl jitters and starts making mistakes again. He'll grow out of it, no doubt. Brett was surprisingly composed! The Saints were all about taking him out, and, except for the last pass, he managed to stay pretty mistake free. I kind of see this Brett thing as an analogy for me right now. I am a little old to be in grad school doing what I am doing. There are so many young and beautiful kids here and they have no problem out-performing me. But I am here. I am doing my best. But I don't really feel like I am fitting in so well. I didn't feel this way as an undergrad - so I don't know why it is bothering me now. But it would be really easy for these young folks to come in and take me out. Not that they will or anything - but I doubt they know or care how hard it is to be doing this at my age and at this junction in my life. I do plan to make it to the grad student superbowl, however.

It's 6:30 now. I have fallen behind in my sleep quota, and still have some research articles to read tonight, oh, yeah, and a paragraph to write about prenatal development. I can't even begin to tell you all how much fun my prenatal development and Physiological Psychology II classes are! I am starting to tire of the false nature vs nurture dichotomy - but I think that is the point these teachers are trying to make right now. I got an extra credit point for making a good point on my paper. Here is what got me the point:

Do these articles really show that DNA is not responsible for [environmental] variability? According to Ryan and Vandenberg (2003), "IUP [intra-uterine placement] accounts for a large amount of variability that is not genetic in origin" (p. 674). It is possible, however, that the genome is designed in such a way that environment must play a part in the development of the organism. The genome may be an "if - then" mechanism that requires input from the fetal environment to do its job. With this type of mechanism, some genes are turned on and off in response to environmental factors. This epigenetic code might be passed on to future generations; however, it would seem more likely that each generation would develop its own epigenetic expressions in order to survive in their environment. Does the epigenetic expression of characteristics override the genome, or is the genome programmed for environmentally guided epigenetic expression of characteristics? The growing body of evidence is showing that all life on this planet, and the environment it shares, plays a significant role in the expression of adaptive characteristics. Perhaps genes are not necessarily goal directed for reproduction, but instructions that allow organisms and species to adapt in an ever changing environment.

I was tired when I wrote that the first time. I am even more tired now. I really hope it makes as much sense as I intended. Well, it got and extra point!

No free advertising

I just deleted another comment left by someone trying to direct people to his web site to get bailout money. I hate it when people google a word in blogs (recession in this case), then type in a comment without having read the blog post they are commenting on, then leave links to their scam site. I always delete them, and I always will.

Blogger doesn't remember me!

It could be because it has been so long since I last blogged, but still....I can't believe I actually had to type in my user name and password!

Where do I start? So much has happened!

Well, first of all, Zach turned 21. That's drinking age here in the states, and he has been counting the days. But I had to be in Pocatello on his birthday, and didn't get home until 11:30 pm. (I went to see a Shakespeare play-it was set in the early 1900s, and there were no fine young men wearing tights! bummer) Anyway, where was I, oh yeah. On the drive home I called Zach to see if he wanted to go somewhere when I got home and have a beer. He was game.

Apparently, my wonderful brother (said very sarcastically) told Zach that if he went to the Oasis, they would give him a free drink for his birthday. So Zach went. Alone. (aren't wonderful brothers the best? I haven't yet thanked him - I'm still trying to think of non-inflammatory words) Luckily, there was someone there that I have known for a long time. He actually was best friends with my brother growing up - and he was a good guy. He looked after Zach until I got there.

I tried to vary the types of drinks Zach was drinking, hoping he would get sick and get it all out of his system. No such luck. He felt better the next day than I did, and I didn't drink.

Megan decorated a cake for him. It was pretty. She is learning to decorate cakes, and wanted to do a pretty cake. Zach loved it - but we couldn't eat any of it because we went to our favorite all-you-can-eat buffet and ate as much as we could. And then some.

Then, last Monday, Zach was approved for his first apartment! He is all grown up now and out on his own! I Always thought than when he moved out I would have lots of time to myself. It isn't working out that way. He is more needy now than he has been in a long time. But, I think once he gets used to it he will be fine. It is really a cute little apartment. It has a dishwasher, which he really loves. It seems like a safe place to live, and there are several people with disabilities living in his building. They do background checks, so I can only assume he won't be encountering too many bad guys there.

I decided to start learning the rest of sonatina op 36 by clementi. It really wasn't the best idea I've had in a while. I have a poster presentation and paper to finish in senior seminar, a paper to read and write about in physio psych, a project to write in theatre and a presentation to give at this Friday's lab meeting. I have discovered that if I go somewhere else to work, I get something done.

But I usually sit in the living room to do my homework. The tv is usually on to keep me company, but I manage to tune it out most of the time when I'm working. The piano is in the living room, and I usually keep the book open to the page I am working on so I can find my place easy. The notes dance on the page. They beckon, tease and tempt me until I can no longer resist. I put down my homework and sit to learn the music. A puzzle that hasn't been finished. I can't stop thinking about it. The music I have learned swirls and hums in my head. Like a song you don't know the words to that plays over and over again until you learn he words - only then does it let you go. Maybe I'm just loosing it.

So, now it is time for my psychotic reading. Until recently, people in Idaho have been patting themselves on the back because we hadn't been touched by the recession thanks to the great (sarcasm) dairy industry and wise (more sarcasm) city planners who have developed loads of service industries in Twin. Well, the recession is hitting Idaho. Layoffs are happening and the state government is cutting services. I actually wrote about this earlier this year. And that prediction is taking place. No one will ever remember we weren't effected by the recession as early as the rest of the country. I still predict that everyone will want heads to roll when our economy is still in the crapper while the rest of the country is rebounding. For about a year anyway - then we'll catch up!

Well, I'm really tired now, and I hope this makes sense. I'm sure I will have to come back in and edit it a few times before it is right!

Good News! It looks like we might really have new president!

I know it's a little early to call this one for sure, after all, it's a long time until January 20, and the supreme court could still get involved, but it really looks like George W. Bush has conceded the office of President of the United states to the guy that got most of the votes last night!

I know, it's little too hopeful, the Bush-Cheney machine is indestructible. But it really looks good for the nation. Dubaya got on the tv this morning and said he would actually help the president-elect out with the transition (hopefully that won't entail any re-programming!).

Does this mean we can start to breath again?

Experience does not equal competence

People continue to compare Palin to Obama and keep coming up with some kind of inequality. The assumption is that experience is all that matters. I know a lot of people (myself included) who have a significant amount of experience doing things they are not competent at. It is downright scary and horrific to work for or next to incompetent people - regardless of their experience.

I'll take competence any day.

Reality Presidential Campaign

From the moment she stood next to McSame, I knew she looked familiar. It was one of those things that just gnaw at you. Too familiar, where do I know her from. She's from Idaho, and she's my age! But I didn't know her as a kid. But still, she just seemed so familiar. I'll bet lots of people felt that way. She looks just like Tina Fey! Palin was famous long before McSame found her! Who doesn't love Tina Fey? Well, I think Sarah Palin won't by the time this campaign is over!










It's too funny! Or sad. Or frightening. You know how our society loves celebrity! And she's got lots!

She was never that fat

This ad popped up on myspace. I can't help but feel angry. Look at the perfect, unbroken, firm, buttery skin. There is no way that skin was ever stretched far enough to fit into those pants. She was never that fat. A woman who is twice the size she wants to be shouldn't be tricked into thinking she will ever have the body of a teenager who has never been more that a few pounds overweight. I wonder if the time will come when it's ok to be average?

Scrutator: The Earth Moves

I guess if I want to feel the earth move under my feet I should head to California! How cool is it that there were no serious injuries? Well, not physically anyway. Maybe professionally?Shouldn't she (an astrologer) have known the earthquake was coming? Listen to the horoscope she is reading! I guess she isn't as psychic as psychotic? psychic - psychotic, there's but an ot of difference.

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Monday I told you about a mother who has had to deal with a kind of bigotry and prejudice that Zach and I have not fully experienced. That's not to say Zach doesn't experience more than his share of painful experiences because of people who think it's ok to take advantage of him. Tuesday night (2:00 a.m. to be exact) Zach decided to go to the store to get himself a pop. On his way back a couple of guys (who claimed to be 18) called Zach over to them and asked to bum a cigarette. Zach said he only had one but offered to share it. In the process of lighting the cigarette and handing it to one of the guys, the other slugged him in the side of the head while the the one taking the cigarette grabbed him and pulled him off his bike. They then hopped on his bike and took off. The police here are notoriously slow at night (could that be why so much crime takes place at night?), and once Zach managed to get someplace to call 911 (he left his cell phone at home!!!!) it took over an hour for the police to arrive. So, he is understandably upset. I'd like to get my hands on these scum! I guess I'm going to have to take a chance and get Zach some self defense classes. I haven't yet because I fear that he won't know a good time to use it from a bad time, but he needs to be able to protect himself. This is getting ridiculous.

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Hmmmmm, who could have predicted that gas prices in Idaho would not decrease at the same pace as the rest of the nation? Idaho gas prices are not falling alongside the national trend according to the Times News Wednesday! They report that

usually, Idaho gas prices are pretty consistent with national trends, but over the past two weeks there's been a bit of a disconnect.

Apparently they didn't care to listen to what Dave Carlson of AAA or Troy Willie of Oasis Stop 'N Go Stores had to say about the problem in their own news article. Both mention several possible causes of the problem, all of which would and have been common occurrences for us. But who could have predicted this attitude from the press and public? Oh, wait! I did! Maybe I'm Psychotic.

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I've reconsidered my desire to go to China to see the solar eclipse. Apparently, beheadings once took place in China due to eclipses. Granted, it was a long time ago and I am not an astrologer (like the one in the video clip above), but still, I do like my head attached at the shoulders.

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I visited the new LDS Temple with Megan and Steve Saturday. It was very bright and light. There was a lot of art on the walls. One room has a mural of Shoshone Falls on all walls, it is pretty cool. There were some original works of Idaho framed and hung on the walls in hallways, but too many works of Jesus were prints. I had hoped to see original works. I guess there are too few artists painting good religious pieces these days. I got a brochure and I am posting it here for your enjoyment.









The chandeliers were quite beautiful, and I usually don't get impressed by chandeliers.

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Wow! When I got home from work Tuesday night I thought about my poor scrutator post and wondered what in the world I would write about. Nothing at all seemed interesting. But here it is! I found something to write about so that I could publish this weeks totally unmoving scrutator.

Scrutator: A Little Here, A Little There

This week I would like to start with a couple of updates. First, I wrote about autism treatments in a previous scrutator. This week I read a post written by an autistic man. Joel talks about the kinds of treatments autistics need in order to navigate this world more effectively. It is an enlightening read, and it is written by an adult autistic man who should know what types of supports he needs in his life. They all seem pretty reasonable to me.

Last week I wrote about churches and the people who are picketing the opening of the Mormon Temple. The Times News has written a story about the protesters at the temple, and has written a follow-up editorial. What is really strange here is that the usual atheist crowd is conspicuously silent in the comments. All of these christian (mormons are christians, they do believe in christ) religions are bickering over who is right and who is wrong. Not one of them can present any real evidence for their beliefs. It's like constructing buildings for the express purpose of begging santa for presents, then arguing with other santa believers about whether santa has 8 or 9 reindeer, picketing each other with information about how santa won't bring the 8 reindeer believers presents because they don't believe in rudolf. Folks, there is no santa - there is no rudolf. I'm sure you can figure out where this is going.

The latest message coming from the catholic front is to stop planned parenthood from disseminating information to young people. The email states:

Ok so some pro-lifers may take things too far or seem a little freaky but after
watching these links to the Planned Parenthood site for teens (still children),
can we have any doubt that we need to start standing up for our children's right
to be at least somewhat wholesome and to regard sexuality with respect. I am
blown away. Who wants their children to watch this stuff and who wants their
children to treat sex and intimacy with such a disgusting attitude. Find a
way to stop planned parenthood from using OUR tax money to promote this kind of
disrespect and filth. This is only just shy of pornography.

They then link to the Planned Parenthood Columbia Willamet site where several little skits are provided to inform young people about sexually transmitted diseases and how to prevent them. "I Didn't Spew" and "Down There Song" are apparently the most reviled skits.

You know, folks, if parents would teach their children about sex, they wouldn't need to learn it from their peers, and we wouldn't need sites like this that try to redirect that shoddy sexual learning! Unless you live in a cave, you know that kids talk like this. After all, where do you think planned parenthood came up with the interesting vocabulary?

I think it's kind of cute, and it is educational above all else.

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The minimum wage increased again on Thursday. The same debate is still brewing, but this time the plummeting economy is in the mix.

Richard Vedder, an Ohio University Professor, thinks that this increase has come at a terrible time and that it will hurt the poor unskilled minority workers it is intended to help. I have to wonder where he thinks minimum wage workers work. They work at fast food restaurants, gas stations, grocery stores, retail stores. I don't really see these businesses going out of business because of a housing crunch.

Arindrajit Dube, labor economist with UC Berkeley Institute for Research on Labor and Employment doesn't believe there will be any job losses, because we haven't seen job losses yet due to variability in minimum wage rates. As a matter of fact, most experts agree that the minimum wage increase will act as the best stimulus relief package to date. The people who work at minimum wage jobs are the people who spend their money - and usually all of it - on things like food, shelter, gasoline and retail items. Their wage increase will benefit the companies they work for, not hurt them.

Minimum wage still needs to be increased to make up for 40 years of stagnation. Once it catches up, mechanisms need to be put in place that ensure inflation rate increases every year. Leaving it up to businesses obviously doesn't work. It is a sorry commentary on our nation that people can work two and three jobs and still fall under the poverty guidelines.

It's sad that we have to force employers to do what is right, but they have left us no choice. Being forced to victimize low wage earners in the US and abroad is not acceptable. We need to figure out how to stop allowing 20% of people from earning more than 50% of the money.

I really hate capitalism. It uses and abuses people. It robs people of happiness.

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A solar eclipse will take place on August first. Anyone want to go to Russia, Mongolia or China to see it with me? You have to pay for the trip of course, as I am poor.

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No wolf hunts! I'll never understand the way ranchers have opposed re-introducing wolves up here in the north-west, but I'm glad they're back. I was so disappointed that they were delisted and that states were going to allow hunts. But, it's ok for now, they will be back on the endangered species list until it is know how healthy the population really is. Come on, folks, they've only been here a few years. Nothing really bad has happened. When they eat your sheep, you get reimbursed. Wolves are prettier than sheep.

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And that's all I have for this week's scrutator.

Scrutator: Standards

Andrew S. Tanenbaum once said "The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from." I couldn't describe the topic of this week's scrutator better myself. So I didn't.

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The mormon temple is now finished and open. For a while, they are allowing the public to tour the building. Then they will have some kind of cleansing ceremony and only some mormons will be allowed in. Megan wants me to go see it with her on Saturday. I figure it will be fun! A lot of expense went into this building. I wonder if mormons are the only religion left who believe their places of worship should be the best and most beautiful buildings. Of course, not all mormon churches are exquisite. Their churches are generally better looking than some of the other religions' around here, but they do a fabulous job on their temples. In fact, the temple inspired me to tour Twin Falls and take pictures of all the churches (all I could find anyway), and post them here. Some are dumpy little buildings, and some are rather pretty. And some are warehouses that have been prettied up like cheap whores.

The temple is a heck of a lot better than the warehouses some of the churches around here started building. Calvary chapel and amazing grace fellowship come to mind there. They both have made some entrance detail that improves curb appeal, but they are still just warehouses. The lighthouse christian fellowship doesn't even bother to build. They move into abandoned stores. That is why I didn't bother to get a photo of them. (Not on purpose anyway, I think they are the folks picketing in front of the mormon temple).

The temple reminds me of the days of old when the catholic church spared no expense in the artistry of their churches. They employed the best artists of their time to adorn the walls with amazing beauty. I've never seen one in person, but I'd like to. Our catholic church was the most beautiful church in town until the temple was built - at least in my opinion. I still think it is beautiful, and if it had gargoyles instead of cherubs, it would still be in my mind. It would be even better if you could still see the stained glass windows from outside, and still had real bells in the bell tower. I can still remember hearing the bells ring on clear mornings.

The united methodist church is beautiful too. They built onto it, which spoiled the effect, but the stained glass is pretty. The first baptist church has pretty windows too. It isn't my favorite style of building, but it is also pretty. The one thing the catholic church, united methodist church and first baptist church have in common is their age. They were all built during the early years of Twin Falls's existence. Churches were still something people took pride in. The buildings celebrated what was beautiful in the hearts and minds of people. It's nice to see that some religious groups still see that as important.






I went to a lot of work to make these pictures into thumbnails! I still think blogger should add thumbnail to picture size. You can mouse over the thumbnail to see the name of the church, and click on the thumbnail to see the full sized image.

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On the 4th of July I wrote about the whining taking place by Brandi Swindell and Bryan Fisher. Apparently, they have received enough donatons from their religious friends to take care of the matter.

They are paying the fine! Hopefully that means I won't have to listen to the whining any more!

The catholic church has a ten commandments monument in front of their church. I didn't know it was there until I saw it in the picture. Very observant, aren't I? (My gaze always went to bell towers and windows).

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I didn't intend to make this whole week about religion. It's just religion has been on my mind a lot lately. The nice thing about religions is, like standards, there are so many to choose from, or reject as you wish. I don't get picketing the temple, however. Mahatma Gandhi said "the various religions are like different roads converging on the same point. What difference does it make if we follow different routes, provided we arrive at the same destination.?" I guess what the protesters think is that the destinations are different. They don't know, though, do they? It's all faith. I guess that's the problem with faith - people keep hurting each other because they have different ideas about something there is no evidence for.

That and so many other ideas are being marinated in my mind, and hopefully it will culminate in another acquisition post. This one I am trying to do research on, but so far I'm not finding what I'm looking for. I still have a month before school starts to get it done, though - fingers crossed.


That does it for this weeks ex-communicated Scrutator. Enjoy the church pics!