Sunday, May 16, 2010

Ellie Mae

Here are some of those pictures I promised. She is such a beautiful baby! I love how she squeaks when she is letting us know she isn't happy. She cries a little, but not a lot. She is already curious about everything and spends a significant amount of time looking around and staring at her mom and dad.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Welcome Ellie!

Ellie was born on 5-12-10 at 8:11pm, 7lbs 4oz, 19 1/2" long. She is as beautiful as she is loved. Mom and baby are doing well. Ellie has a great dad, and Megan a great husband in Steven. She was born awake and alert, just like her mommy was. Lots of dark curly hair and happy to know she can still suck on her fingers and touch her face, which seem to be the only things that remind her of her life inside the womb!

Friday, May 07, 2010

May 7, 2010

Wait a minute - it stopped snowing!
Flowers blooming, grasses growing,
Birds are chirping - Gee that's better.
Looks like someone read my last post letter!

Ok - Where did my muse go?

Thursday, May 06, 2010

May 6, 2010

I looked out my window and what did I see?
Not popcorn popping on the apricot tree!

No really, folks - it's MAY for crying out loud.  This climate change is starting to really bum me out!  Look, I'm 46 now, and I'm used to having nice weather in May.  That's how it's been for most of my life and I don't like this change.  We should be having thunder storms, or sunshine.  Maybe even some hail.  BUT NOT SNOW!  I HATE SNOW!  (By the way, this picture was taken from my office window at ISU! - There was an earthquake in Utah a couple of weeks ago and I was up here when it happened.  I was sitting at my desk when all of a sudden I felt the earth moving all around.  I just thought it was menopause.  It turned out to be an earthquake that people on the third floor or above in hi-rise buildings - at ISU - could feel)

To top it all off - I have a cold!  Well, I always get sick at the end of the semester, so I guess I can't really complain.  But I am complaining because if Ellie comes this week, I won't get to help welcome her home!  I just can't risk making her sick.  And she could come any day - that's what Megan's doctor says.  And everyone is so excited to get to meet her.  She is going to be so cute, and lovable, and huggable and happy!

The good news is I'm nearly done with grading.  I think.  And I have some goals set for next year.  This summer will be spent getting my proposal ready so that I can propose at the end of August and get all of my participants run during the fall semester, do all the statistical analyses and defend by spring!  Hey, it could happen.  All I have to do is work my butt off!  Sounds like fun!

I had to come to school early today for the 101 final (to give it, not take it).  I woke up at 3:00 am and couldn't get back to sleep (cold/menopause combo?).  At about 5:45 I dozed off.  I was sitting with some school friends (though my awake mind has no idea who the people in my dream were), and I told a funny joke.  I don't remember the joke, it's just as well, it probably wasn't funny.  I looked at the clock and it was 7:03. I jumped up to get ready to go, because I had to be at school at 7:30 am. (I am still dreaming).  I went into the bedroom area to see that water was gushing out of all of the vents!  Things were getting soaked.  I picked up Zach's backpack (which looked suspiciously like mine to my waking mind), and put it on the bed.  I was somewhat upset because I had to go to school, I had all of the tests!  Luckily, I have this amazing ability to wake up, which is just what I did.  And in time to get to school and get the tests to the students.

I still hate the snow.  Especially on May 6, 2010!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Is that the horizon I see?

I am almost at the halfway point in grad school, and  I might actually make it!  Megan is nearly ready to have a baby, and what a lucky baby she is.  My past is knocking at the door, and I will be letting it in.  There is something off in the distance - is that the horizon I see?

I went to see Megan last weekend.  It's almost time for Ellie to be born.  I wish I could be there more.  I really miss my baby. We had some fun, though.  We didn't get much shopping in.  It is getting a little more difficult for Megan to get around these days, what with swelling ankles and all.

I don't know what to think about my life right now.  I have been spending a lot of time in Pocatello - I can't imagine having to live there forever.  It really is a depressing little town.  I miss my Twin Falls.  But, school is nearly done for the semester, and while I still have to spend a significant amount of time writing and re-writing my thesis proposal, I do intend to take more pretty pictures and really learn how to use my camera.  I also plan to do some painting and finish a few of them so I can have something to put on the bare walls in my new house.  I also need to finish getting all of my stuff over here as well.  I will also be spending as much time as Megan can stand with visiting her and helping her with her baby.  It should be a good summer.

I've been spending a bit of time on facebook lately.  Kim found all of the Cummins family a couple of months ago, and I am now back in touch with bunches of them.  And my step dad has been reading about me on my blog.  I guess I didn't scare him off with anything I wrote!   It seems strange to have so much of the past coming back.  I am excited to get to know everyone again, but I have to wonder if I am strong enough to walk through my troubled past.  I am a little scared to be honest.  It might really be good for me.  I'll bet there are things that all of these people remember about me that are really good.  It can't hurt to be reminded of good things that happened when I was a kid - in fact that might actually help.

My mother's brother is staying with my dad and me right now because he is about to go through a nasty divorce.  I have been really mean to him, and I find myself feeling really embarrassed about it.  I'm not sure where this animosity is coming from.  He looks a lot like my mother, and doesn't seem to get how horrible she was to me.  Sometimes he says something about how I remind him of her.  I don't like hearing that crap.  He also could be reminding me of my mother's father who molested my sister and me one night.  He tends to seriously embellish the truth with un-truths.  I really don't know what to think of him, but I know I don't like me when I am mean to him because he really has been really nice to me.  I can't stand that he smokes in my house when I'm in Pocatello.  The whole house reeks when I get home - it makes me sick to my stomach.

I need to go see my brother.  He contacted me through facebook, and I said I'd call him, but I have really had to do a lot of homework and stuff.  I feel really bad about it.  I know he is feeling down and out right now.  I'd like to be able to help if I can.

I learned a lot in physiological psychology and prenatal development this semester.  I hope to get another acquisition post up this summer, and a book review (it's already written - I just want to wait until it is graded to post it), and I have a soapbox post coming about oxytocin and defensive behaviors in autistic people.  It should be good.

And of course you can expect tons and tons of baby pictures - just as soon as I get to take them!