Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I am grateful

November is thanks-giving month -- post one thing every day until Thanksgiving.

November 4: I started on this day because I didn't know about it until then. Otherwise I would have posted starting November 1 - Duh! :)

I am grateful to have an awesome family and beautiful children!

November 5: I had a new client who told me I was irritating and annoying. Other clients have told me this, and I always make it through. I wasn't even taking this client because I was in need of more hours either - but because the client needed a psr. So, I chose to go for a brisk walk. It worked! The next time I saw this client we were suddenly best buds! I love my job!

I am grateful for the ability to walk off my frustrations.

November 6: There really isn't anything more fun than coming off of difficult weeks and having the luxury of just hanging out in bed or on the couch all Saturday just doing nothing.

I am grateful for lazy Saturday mornings that last all day long!

November 7: Today was daylight savings day.

I am grateful for that extra hour of sleep this morning.

November 8: I love my job. But that doesn't mean I don't really appreciate the very occasional cancellations that allow me to sleep in on Monday! It is like having a 4 day holiday. Even though I had to work on the Friday before and Monday after. I love my sleep.

I am grateful for four days in a row to sleep in.

November 9: Another client I work with has found herself in a new, very age-appropriate relationship. She smiled for 2 1/2 hours straight. It was a difficult morning, and it was so nice to see the smiles. She made me smile - and everything was all better!

I am grateful for big, bright, happy smiles!

November 10: Have I told you? I LOVE my job!

I am grateful for getting paid to do something I LOVE to do!

November 11: Today was Veterans Day! I really do feel very lucky that there are people who are willing to step up where I have not. I appreciate people who put themselves in the line of fire so that I might enjoy what freedoms I do have.

I am grateful for all of the men and women who have fought to keep the young dream of a government of the people, by the people, and for the people alive! Happy Veterans Day!

November 12: I sometimes get too comfy in my own life. Not that that is a bad thing, but sometimes it is good to stretch a little and grow. I am sure I am happy without a man in my life. I'm positive I don't need one. There is no way I want to make the time and the room to fit one in. I think.

I am grateful for the winds of change that howl through the valley of my complacency.

November 13: Megan and Ellie came to stay with me this weekend! It was sooooo much fun to have them down. I just love them both sooooo much. I miss my Megan more than anyone can really know. She is such an amazing person, the perfect daughter and an incredibly wonderful mother. And Ellie just gets cuter and cuter every time I see her. At the birthday party she laughed and laughed at a mylar balloon we were playing with. Good times!

I am grateful for the baby kisses coming my way today!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 14: Two babies I love very much turned 1 year old on the 11th. Today they had their first birthday party. Babies don't like birthday parties as much as the people who care about them, but that's ok. It was a fun party. Then, my adopted dad says he really wants to do something to let Zach know that he has a family here that cares about him. We couldn't figure out how to get him introduced, then I remembered! Saturday is Zach's Birthday. Aunt Bitsy has offered to let us use her house so that we can throw Zach a surprise party! Well, this is going to be more fun than you know. I guess you'll see on the post about that.

I am grateful for birthdays.

November 15: I have a lot of people around me who encourage me and pat me on the back. I just do what I think is right, and I know that in most cases I do make a difference in the positive direction. Still, it never hurts to hear it!

I am grateful for AWESOME pep talks.

November 16: Not everyone survives abuse and makes their life work as well as I have made mine work. My life is not perfect by any means. I should have gone to college out of high school where I would have become a big experimental psych professor studying something very cool. I should have picked a better husband for me, and father for my children. I should never have drifted away from the family that loved and cared so much for me. I wasn't a perfect mother. I've made mistakes that made no sense. But I chose not to let the abuse define who I was as a person. And I never will. I also know that I must do what ever I can to make sure no other child has to suffer what I suffered alone. I may not be able to stop the abuse, but I can definitely teach children the skills they will need to survive it themselves. I give it all I have. It's the least I can do.

I am grateful that the past CANNOT continue to hurt me without my permission. I am grateful that I have put it behind be where it belongs, and did not allow it to mess up the entirety of my life or my kids' lives. I am grateful I had the strength to grow and learn from the abuse I received as a child instead of crumbling and succumbing to it. I am who I am today NOT BECAUSE I was abused, but IN SPITE of it!

November 17: When I started working full time, nearly all of my hours came from clients who live in the Burley/Rupert area. I am required to turn my progress notes in By Wednesday so that the book keeper can enter the information by the deadline set by Medicaid. I was told that I could place my progress notes in the box that gets taken to and from Burley, so I did. Then a whole week's worth of progress notes came up missing. No one know what has happened to them - something that should be of concern to everyone. This lost week's worth of notes wouldn't get paid until the following pay day - which I was unhappy about. It meant that I would be taxed as if I was making a lot more money. I spoke with my boss about it, and he made sure that all the problems were taken care of. He told me that he really appreciates what I do for the organization, and that he wants to keep me happy. They fixed everything too! I got my washer and dryer! It is nice to be appreciated like that.

I am grateful that I have an employer who appreciates me enough to keep me happy, and that he feels that way because he is getting positive feedback from other agencies that we work with! :) Happy day.

November 18: No matter how well I plan to work on specific tasks with my clients, there are days when it just doesn't work. This was one of those days when nothing I thought was going to happen actually happened. It was a noisy day - they changed the radio station in my car several times, talking talking talking non-stop. I didn't even realize how noisy the day had been until I got to bed and it was quiet. I really appreciate that quiet!

I am grateful busy noisy days that take paths of their own - followed by restful quiet nights I can empty the bustle and noise into.

November 19: There are things in our lives that we take for granted. Like toilets.

I am grateful for toilets! November 19 is World Toilet Day! According to the British Medical Journal, sanitation has saved more lives than anything else in history - more than antibiotics, vaccines, and anaesthesia. Help spread the word by making this your Facebook status and learn more here: http://www.worldtoilet.org/wtd/index.asp.

November 20:  I finally got a washer and dryer!  Huge sale at Home Depot.  $500 for the pair!  Everywhere else was asking $700 to $800 for the pair!  Happy day!

i am grateful for great sales on cheap washers and dryers.

This is when the snows started.  Nasty, deep, cold snow.  If you know me, you know how I feel about snow in the valley!
November 21:  Zach was in Boise for his birthday.  I took him to Red Lobster for dinner.  Pretty boring compared to what his dad got him for his birthday.  But I got him home the next morning under the guise that I needed him to help me help someone.  I guess he thought he was going to help me help one of my clients.  He was actually kind of happy about it.  But not as happy as the surprise party I was really taking him to.  Grandpa Lyle told Aunt Bitsy that he was renting her house for a party, and she was all for it ;).  There were lots of people there that Zach hadn't met yet.  He was so happy, he just kept smiling.  He got lots of cool stuff for his birthday too.  It was so neat.
I am grateful for happy surprises that turn out even better than planned! Zach has been completely accepted into the folds of the family that was once lost but now found. I've never seen him smile so much. His dad might have seen him smile that much last night though :)

November 22:  Back to work.  In the snow.  It wasn't as bad getting to Burley as getting home.  The roads were treacherous, and I was someone nervous on the drive home.  But I made it - I always do.  Unfortunately, not everyone did.  There were several slide offs along the way.
I am grateful that I can distract myself from fear by using big words; ie. I query the acumen of transporting myself on a frozen public infrastructure covered by bellowing drifts of snow at the height of an early winter storm. Anyway, I'm home now - alive and well. No accidents for me. Can't say the same for everyone else out there!

November 23:  I turned around the next morning and planned to drive back to Burley.  I got on the freeway where people were driving 35 mph, and the snow in the passing lane was deep.  My car doesn't do deep snow.  I ended up turning around at the Valley exit - it just wasn't worth it.  I did have one disappointed client, but I guess she managed ok without me.
I am grateful for a snow-day that allowed me to catch up on some things that needed to be done.

November 24:  I did make it to work on Wednesday.  We went through the McDonalds drive thru that wasn't completely cleared of ice and snow.  When I pulled up to the window there was some ice that almost held me back, so I put on the parking break - and promptly forgot that I had done so.  When the food came out, I hit the gas and the car just wouldn't go.  I got out of the car to kick away the obstruction, but found non.  As I was getting back into the care, I remembered the brake.  It was too late not to be embarrassed, however.
I am grateful that I didn't call a tow truck before I realized that I was stuck because I left the parking brake on!

November 25:  I typically get ready for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday because Megan and Steven come for Thanksgiving dinner on Friday.  This thanksgiving, however, Zach and I were invited to have Thanksgiving dinner at aunt Bitsy's - and it was so much fun.  The food was great, and we had a really good time.  I really do have a lot to be thankful for this year.
I am grateful for my children - they are the reason I am still here. I am grateful for all of my family - they are amazing no matter what happens. I am grateful for my friends - even the ones I haven't seen in a while. I am grateful for my work - it's nice to know I can make a difference in the lives of others.

I am grateful for my house - even though it's not finished yet. I am grateful for my art - paintng, photography and piano. I am grateful for my computer - even when the keys do weird things. I am grateful for the thanksgiving dinner I had today - and the one I will have tomorrow.
I am grateful for NOVA, Nature, and Masterpiece Classic. I am grateful for not having to go to the laundromat any more - I might have an I'm not going to come here anymore party at the laundromat though.
I am grateful for this moment. Right here, right now, I am safe, warm and content.
November 26:  Megan, Steve and Ellie came for dinner.  Megan helped me cook, and we had a lot of fun.  The turkey took a really long time to bake, I'm not used to the time it takes to cook a really big turkey - I'll have to keep that in mind for future reference.
I am grateful for Steven, Megan and Ellie. They came for Thanksgiving dinner today, and even though the Turkey took so long to cook (maybe because I bought the biggest one I could find), it still all tuned out good. Megan made the best mashed potatoes, bread, and cranberry sauce! Ellie made the cutest giggle! :)


November 27:  My washer and dryer were delivered.
I am grateful to be doing my laundry - - - AT HOME!!!!!

November 28:  Sundays can be rather tense at times.  The are great times for calm, but I know that the coming week could be difficult. 
I am grateful for the calms before (and after) the storms!

November 29:  And Monday was definitely a storm.  I actually did get stuck - high centered because my car is so low to the ground.  I have roadside assistance and used it.
I am grateful for roadside assistance - it comes in handy when you really are stuck; I am grateful that I did not have an accident on the way home from Burley, When I got home I realized my seat-belt wasn't buckled; I am grateful that this wretched day has come to an end.

November 30:  Then today started out bad.  I was late, the roads were still bad, and I was sure I wanted to stay home.  I didn't, though, and things turned around ok.
I am grateful that today was only bluffing when it threatened to be Monday all over again!

And that was my month.  When I started this I thought it would be kind of fun, and it was.  What I didn't expect was how hard it would be to come up with something in every day that I could be grateful for.  It was a great exercise, and I have decided to continue this to see where it takes me.  Find one thing in every day that I can be grateful for.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Just saying hi.

I'm just sitting in a little coffee shop - just ate some lunch and have a post started that will sum up November for me. The wind is blowing so hard today. The car shakes with each big gust. The trees bounce and sway. The clouds stream past in a long succesion of animals and cartoon characters. They're in a hurry to get somewhere, but theydon't know where. Like me. Most of the leaves have become separated from their beloved tree and lie scattered in big piles where they are protected from the wind. Some have not yet found that protection and hop and skip through the streets. The colors of summer are long past now, and everything is brown and gray. At least the sun is shining. The sky is blue - and I'm feeling it too. The chill of autumn has seized my heart several times in the past week. It sends shivers down my spine. Right now what I really want to do is wrap up in my coat, but I can't because it smells like dog urine and feces because I helped out at an animal shelter this morning. Live and learn. In another 6 hours I will be home, where I can wrap up in my blankets and feel warm and safe.